May 2025 Review

This past December, I decided to the 12 Magical Nights Ritual to set my intentions and manifest awesomeness for 2025 (I will be happy to go over this ritual towards the end of the year). I made the decision to pull a tarot card each night to set the intention and energy for each month of the year. I would do the mini tarot reading for the month, write it in my yearly "Goal" journal, do the ritual (outside), and then come back in and describe what happened, how I felt, and what went through my head while performing it in the journal as well. I decided that at the end of each month, I would review the entry I made and see what how it coincided with my experience and then do another tarot pull to see what I should take away from that month. I have also started doing a mini 3 card pull to give me a heads up for the next month.

I honestly can't believe the year is almost half way done! So, let's review what happened in May:

The card I pulled: 8 of Swords REVERSED

When I journaled the reading, these are the meanings that stuck out that I wrote down:

• Freedom from things you've rehearsed in your mind

• Dealing with inner critic

• Letting go of negative thoughts about yourself

• Self Love

• Freedom

This card!! You have not idea how much I love this card...REVERSED! It's such a powerful message and one that I have learned to embrace. When it came up, my heart did a little jump. Freedom is precious to me. Between trauma and being an autistic women with a PDA profile, freedom is an ongoing goal and often a trigger to unwellness when I don't have access to it. And most times, the place that's most locked up for us is our minds, with our own self doubt and inner critic holding the key. And that's definitely the truth in my case. The idea that maybe some relief might happen, got me very excited.

The ritual itself was kind of inspiring as well. Did it come off without a hitch? Nope. The candle blew out a couple times either from wind or my own breath, but the match that used to light it didn't. It actually stayed strong throughout the whole process starting with the lighting the candle several times and ending after not only keeping with wish for that night on fire, but burning up an extra remnants of any of the previous wishes from the nights before.

May definitely held promise for me.

If you read the reviews for the first four months of the year, you know that this year has been a "stretching" year, to say the least. I have to admit was didn't hold much hope that May would be much different. And I say that not in a negative way per se, but a "knowing" way. Because the truth is, I had peace about it. Like a "It Is Well" (If you know the old hymn, you know what I'm talking about) kind of peace that is honestly kind of new to me despite all my years in the teaching "rest in God". I have lived my whole life just freaking out. I have never even been able to fake it. I wasn't even that duck in the water that seemed calm and collected on the top of the water with the legs paddling like crazy underneath. I have always just been that chicken with their head cut off. This kind of peace was deeper and weightier.

Did I have opportunity for unrest? Good lord, did I! Everything I tried plan...all the things I was expecting fell through. At a heartbreaking level. I let myself feel that sadness, but then almost instantly, I had that peace. I began finally leaning into DIVINE TIMING. It was like it finally clicked! I am exactly where I need to be, when I need to be, and with who I need to be there with. That the plans fell through for a reason. That I needed to be somewhere other than where I thought I was going to be at that time. That the big purchases needed to be waited out because something better was going to come up.

I am not a "everything happens for a reason" girl. I seriously am not. In fact, it a joke with my best friend that I buck against that saying every time I hear it. I really do. And I won't be stopping any time soon for the majority of things. However, there is a magical thing that happens when we allow ourselves to lean into Divine timing. When we say, "I am going to walk through doors that are open to me. I am not going to break them down. I am not going go through the window. I am not going to close the door myself. And I am not going to run away in the opposite direction or camp out on the thresh hold." It's a "going with the flow" with action and purpose. It's also not pawning off the reasons things happen on to an imaginary fairytale being who causes all these bad things to happen. Because I am a believer that in the free will that we were given, we all make decisions that affect things. Statistically, for every decision we make, it affects at least six people. EVERY DESICION! Things happen as a result of choices we make and the choices others make.

So, how can I make room for Divine timing? I can because I also believe that with all these choices and circumstances, beauty and lessons are given. I believe that if we allow God, Source, The Universe, whatever you believe is working behind the scenes will make amazing things out of the biggest blunders, if we allow it. When something bad happens whether I made the mistake or someone else did, I can go, "God has multiple plan A's. I am going to learn from this and I am going to make the most out of space I am in knowing that I am going to get something out of this."

I know that I had no control over a lot of the circumstances that happened in May. I could have tried to fight against all of it and freak out over it, but I had a peace. I had to have hard conversations with myself and people I loved. I had to allow myself to grieve the loss of expectations. And the result was stronger bonds. It was awesome. It's funny when we are at peace, we are also able to pass that peace on to others.

Another lesson that I started taking to heart was the impact of "I am" statements. I had heard a woman on TikTok say something along the lines of, " 'I am' statements are system directives." Basically saying that when we say, "I am....", we are telling ourselves what we are to be doing. So we should be mindful of the things that we say we are because that's what our mind and body do. It's what we put out into the universe to go into motion. When we don't attention to that, we can so flippantly we use those directives in negative ways and then wonder why the heck things go in ways that we don't like. Well, because we told ours that by saying, "I am dumb. I am a bad mom. I am lazy. I am useless." We just gave ourselves the wrong directives of what we truly want to be! It's an extremely powerful use of words!

I can definitely see where that 8 of Swords REVERSED came into play:

• Freedom from rehearsed thinking? I really like it's those "I am" statements that I am learning to watch.

• Dealing with the "Inner Critic"? Again, the negative "I am" statements.

• Letting go of negative thoughts? I feel like May was a month for dealing with negative mindset.

• Self love? Leaning into Divine Timing and resting, and challenging my personal thoughts is LOVE.

• Freedom? Not feeling the need to control things is FREEDOM! Rest is FREEDOM!

I can say that it was right on! As was the mini pull that I did in April (you can read that in April's Review), especially when it came to communicating and setting realistic goals. I truly think that leaning into Divine timing allowed me to that with peace.

The one card pull that I normally do at the end of the month to see what I should glean, ended up with THREE cards falling out. When that happens, I use them together. And wow! The message was spot on!

The World, Temperance, and the 9 of Cups:

"You've finally figure out something BIG that you've been struggling with for as long as you can remember. Just appreciate the magic that is happening, because everything is falling into place. Go with its flow. And now that you got it, share it and inspire others so that maybe they can walk in peace too!"

And that is what I am doing right now. I know the struggles are real. I know that sometimes it seems completely hopeless. But where you are right now can be used to help you grow. It sounds cliché. I get it. I won't tell you there's a reason for it. But I will tell you that if you trust it, good things will come from it even if you can't see it until much later. Remember, this place, these people, your body...are all temporary. It will not last forever, but in the meantime, live and rest in knowing you are exactly where you need to be, when you need to be.

I also did my customary reading for the next month and let's see what June may bring:

What to expect for June: 3 of Pentacles- Team work or collaboration to get things moving.

How should I handle June: (2 cards fell out)

5 of Wands and The Hermit- If that collab gets weird, control your anger. step back for a little bit and reflect on what your real goals are, then communicate them clearly.

What will be my overall lesson from June: (2 cards fell out)

King of Pentacles and 4 of Swords- It's time to get a healthy relationship with money. And you need to learn to rest so that you can heal and prepare for the future.

Okaaay...that seems interesting. I do see the recurrent theme though: Rest. I will continue to actively rest in knowing that I am trusting in Divine Timing. I can't control everything. I can do my due diligence and my best with what I can, but I need to be open to letting it work out for my best good.